"You are the best midlife crisis story I have ever heard of"

Rodney. ‘It started around my 34th year, I had to give up the comedy circuit. I had a wife and kid, so I started selling aluminum siding. How many people buy from a guy who "gets no respect"? Right – only the ones who really need it’

"Then what happened?"

Rodney. ‘When I turned forty and got divorced, I went back to my dream job as a comedian - figuring I’d be poor forever anyway. But I knew I had to create a persona to explain why a not very handsome guy in his 40s was a comedian. I changed my name to Rodney Dangerfield (thanks Jack Benny) and I created the "No Respect" image’.

"We know that worked but did it work right away?"

Rodney. "Not immediately – but the Ed Sullivan show did the trick in early 1967. Popo Giglio and I owe Ed quite a bit. I was able to pay it forward by helping Jim Carey"

"I thought Groucho was the king of one-liners, but I think you beat him"

Rodney. "My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. A homeless guy came up to me on the street, saying he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, ‘Man, I wish I had your willpower’. I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them said, ‘So will you.’ My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too."

"I have never asked this before, but can you give us more?"

Rodney. "My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. Last week I told my psychiatrist, 'I keep thinking about suicide', and he told me from now on I must pay in advance. Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But I never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke. My wife must be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat. I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her. When I was born, I was so ugly that the doctor slapped my mother."

In 2004 entering a hospital for surgery, Rodney was asked how long he would be hospitalized: "If all goes well, about a week. If not, about an hour and a half."